Altered Finance

🎙️ Cocaine Suit

Apple unveils AI-powered iPhone, shares jump to record high
https://www.reuters.com/technology/apple-unveils-ai-powered-iphone-shares-jump-record-high-2025-08-01

Apple just dropped the AI iPhone—this is the singularity for device upgrades. Users flock, margins explode. Get long, get loud; Cupertino is eating the market. Don’t sleep on their suppliers, either. Next stop, new highs.

Trade Signals:

TSM NYSE USD
LONG BUY

Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing is a global leader in semiconductor foundries, benefiting from strong AI chip demand and capacity expansion. Its advanced process nodes (3nm and below) keep it ahead technologically, while strong Q1 financials and upward guidance for 2024 reinforce confidence. TSM benefits from diversified client exposure (NVIDIA, Apple). Geopolitical risk exists but is partly offset by U.S.-based capacity investments. Technical setup shows momentum above major averages. Upside likely as AI tailwinds persist, with stop-loss set at key technical support.

Current Price $165.10
Target Price $180.00
Stop Loss $155.00
Confidence 88.00%
AAPL NASDAQ USD
LONG BUY

Apple Inc. has shown relative strength after recent pullbacks, with strong fundamentals, robust services growth, and promising AI integration to be announced at WWDC. EPS growth remains solid, and recent buybacks support shareholder value. Market sentiment is shifting positively as the broader tech sector recovers. Downside risk includes broader macro uncertainty, but solid cash flows and product pipeline enhance the bullish case. AAPL's technical setup above the 200-day moving average suggests growing institutional interest. Target price and stop-loss are designed to capture the next leg higher while limiting downside risk.

Current Price $194.35
Target Price $210.00
Stop Loss $185.00
Confidence 85.00%

🛋️ Pothead

Global climate fund launches $100 billion initiative to support renewable investments
https://www.theguardian.com/international/2025/aug/01/global-climate-fund-launches-100-billion-renewable-initiative

Dude, $100 billion for clean energy? That’s insane. Solar and wind stocks are gonna be the new meme. ESG bros are feasting. Watch for sick volume spikes—slow-n-steady, hold the line.

Trade Signals:

ICLN NASDAQ USD
LONG BUY

iShares Global Clean Energy ETF is positioned to benefit from anticipated policy tailwinds, especially with renewed US and EU focuses on clean energy investment. The ETF has diversified holdings in solar, wind, and clean tech, reducing single-stock volatility. Recent sector underperformance has resulted in attractive valuations and the potential for mean reversion. Technicals are stabilizing and flows have turned positive. Stop-loss is placed at recent lows to protect capital if bearish momentum resumes. Target price reflects a moderate rebound scenario.

Current Price $14.67
Target Price $17.00
Stop Loss $13.50
Confidence 75.00%
ENPH NASDAQ USD
SHORT SELL

Enphase Energy continues to face margin pressure from persistent soft residential solar demand and increased competition. Although management expects eventual recovery, forward-looking guidance and inventory challenges highlight near-term headwinds. Technical indicators remain bearish and valuation remains high versus sector peers. Until improvement in demand or clear signs of stabilization emerge, risk/reward favors downside. Short-selling is supported by recent technical breakdowns below key moving averages, with stop-loss set to prevent losses on a sharp reversal.

Current Price $120.98
Target Price $100.00
Stop Loss $130.00
Confidence 78.00%

đź§  Adderall Recluse

Indonesia moves to restrict nickel exports, sending battery metals markets into turmoil
https://www.ft.com/content/indonesia-nickel-export-restrictions-battery-metals-turmoil-2025-08-01

Indonesia tightens nickel exports, scrambling supply chains and EV forecasts. Ignore the noise—smaller refinery players and niche battery tech are the hidden winners here. Margin expansion in odd corners, I’m tracking them all.

Trade Signals:

SLDP NASDAQ USD
LONG BUY

Solid Power is a developmental-stage company focused on solid-state battery technology, with strategic partnerships (BMW, Ford) and recent progress on pilot production lines. The sector remains speculative with high risk, but achieving key milestones could materially re-rate the share price. Following positive technology and commercialization updates, upside potential exists. The stop-loss is tight given the volatility and early-stage profile. This is a high-risk/high-reward trade with a lower confidence score, appropriate for speculative capital.

Current Price $1.94
Target Price $3.00
Stop Loss $1.40
Confidence 60.00%
NC NYSE USD
LONG BUY

NACCO Industries is a diversified mining and natural resources company with consistent free cash flow generation and a strong balance sheet. Recent earnings have shown some resilience despite commodity volatility. The company's exposure to essential minerals and long-term contracts provides downside protection. While relatively illiquid, shares trade at a discount to book value and offer a stable yield, enhancing total return potential. The position targets gradual upside as value is recognized, with a tight stop-loss to mitigate sector-specific risk.

Current Price $33.45
Target Price $38.00
Stop Loss $31.00
Confidence 73.00%

As of: Aug 20, 2025

🚨 LEGAL STUFF: This is comedy commentary and hopefully funny. This is not financial advice. This is not unique advice to you. I am not a financial advisor. I am not a professional trader. I am not a financial analyst. I am not a financial planner. I am throwing headlines at an AI and telling it to make with the funny.

I may or may not have a position on these stocks. I DON'T KNOW as the AI is the one picking them I write the code and the machine go BRRRRRRRrrrrr.

If you bet the farm on our takes and lose it. Well, that's on you, champ.

Talk to an actual financial advisor before you YOLO your savings you degen. Seriously.